Monday, April 04, 2011

Day 15: Water, Water everywhere...and too much to drink

BMI: 22.4

(With apologies to Coleridge)

No, much though I hate to detract from the entertainment value of my posts, and despite what the title implies, this is not a confession that I hit the skids last night and downed a half bottle of scotch - though it looks more and more attractive each day. (Oddly I haven't missed drinking wine at all. Or scotch). Today's theme is all about water, in a simple equation:

Water = Pee = Weight Loss

I give full credit for this astounding discovery to the Program Director (PD) who must have a cache of pithy insights stored up to lob at me whenever I veer from the straight and narrow. (As in, every time I see her). I'm sure she has a list of 'difficult patients' upon which I am the star performer - I'm on remedial training as we speak, having been asked to return for a checkup before the week is out.

Apparently, I don't drink enough water, having failed miserably thus far at downing the mandatory 2 litres a day.  If I don't drink enough water I won't lose weight. End of story.
2 litres is WAY out of my league. I think, on a good day, pre-diet I used to drink a litre or so of various beverages. Now I'm trying to double it with fewer beverages, and it ain't going so well.

I once went out with a guy who refused to drink water after supper because he hated getting up at night to pee. (Different guy than the previous post's Paranoid Poo-er). Not that that's at all relevant to this discussion. I have become a frequent habituee at most toilets around my neighbourhood, in service of the 2 litre rule. I time my out-of-house errands by duration-between-pees so that I can be home or at least near a decent toilet before my back teeth start swimming.  

I keep hoping my bladder capacity will increase but it hasn't happened yet. My co-workers are becoming accustomed to my sudden disappearances, often half way through a conversation. "So then I said to him... what? again? oh okay, I'll wait". (insert eyeball roll)

I hereby resolve to drink a litre by 2pm and another by 8pm, come hell or high water. So to speak.


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